My Thoughts Exactly by Lily Allen

Author:Lily Allen [Allen, Lily]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blink Publishing
Published: 2018-09-19T16:00:00+00:00

LOVE

I knew Sam for years before we ever got together. He was part of the Lester crowd of my late teens. When we became a couple, the press often referred to him as ‘builder Sam Cooper’ or ‘Sam Cooper painter and decorator’, but Sam is posh. He runs a building company, but he’s not up there on a ladder with a paintbrush in his hand. He was one of the guys on the boat with Lester when he dumped me from the other side of the world. They were all on a big gap year-type trip: boys born into privilege doing drugs and exploring the same hippy trail their bohemian parents had once marked out. Sam’s is a big sprawling, extended family and unlike his brothers – Tarka (a musician who died, tragically, in 2008) and Barney (who runs a record label called Room 609) – Sam didn’t go into the music business or the arts. He’s broken that mould. He isn’t a labourer, but he grafts. He’s built up his building company, Bonchurch, over more than fifteen years of hard work.

The first time I thought about Sam in that way was at a party I gave at Claridge’s for my twenty-fourth birthday. It was a year after Tarka had died and though I’d seen Sam at the funeral, I hadn’t talked to him properly for ages. ‘How is everything?’ I asked him, before taking him off to the loo, not to do drugs, but because it was the only quiet place where we could talk. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him for hours and hours and hours. I wanted, I realised, to talk to him for the rest of my life.

Nothing happened between us that night, but it was then that I first thought: Oh my God, Sam. Sam. Before that, I’d liked Sam but never thought about him romantically. Suddenly, it felt imperative that I see him again, and soon, and so I invited him and a couple of mutual friends to Glastonbury to watch me a few weeks later. They came. Sam says he knew something was going to happen when a group of us were sitting in the back of a people carrier on the way to the helicopter port (go Glasto!) and I put my feet up to rest across his legs. That’s when he realised, he later told me, that I was definitely flirting with him. He was right. I was definitely flirting. I liked him a lot.

I remember thinking: This, just being with this person, is exciting. Being in the same room as this person is exciting. I remember also thinking: I’m going at a million miles an hour and my life is chaotic and I can’t carry on like this for much longer, and this man seems like he can offer me a different way to go forward, and it’s a better way.

Still, I didn’t take Sam’s way forward immediately. As I’ve said, it wasn’t long after Glastonbury that I left London for Japan to play the Fuji Rock Festival.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.